I hate the word “journey.” It’s painstakingly overused, cliche and most often appears in sentences as a justification for bad behavior. “I have no regrets. It was all part of the journey that got me to where I am today.”

Now that we’ve gotten that out the way, I’ve contemplated writing about my “whatever” for some time now. Don’t worry, I’m not another Millennial who thinks they’re special and has a license to dole out advice at the ripe old age of 28. (Well, maybe I’m special, but that’s not what this is about. ;- ) This word-filled page exists for a far more melancholy reason.

In the past year and a half-ish, I’ve lost 115 pounds and counting. (If that doesn’t scream “TLC Show” I don’t know what does.) I’m not proud of this accomplishment. In fact, more than anything, I’m embarrassed that I had that much weight to lose. I don’t know that I’ll ever post a “before and after.” (Maybe, but only if this writing thing helps me become more self actualized.) I’ll never brag or give out diet advice like the failed businessman telling you how you should now grow your stable business because he’s “learned so much on his journey.”

I’m writing because I haven’t figured anything out at all. I find my weight, food intake and need to exercise occupies my mind far more than I want it to – and certainly far more than it did 100 pounds ago.

I’ve been told countless times over the years that writing can be therapeutic. As someone who actually gets paid to write for a living, you’d think I’d have penned pages of pain-filled journals. The truth is, I’ve never been able to write about personal matters. I’ve tried numerous times, but each time I find myself editing my emotions. (You know, just in case my journal is published someday…since I’m so special.) It’s never been therapeutic for me.

As my “whatever” continues, I’ve been wanting to sit down and write about it. When the desire presents itself, I try to listen. I can’t promise that I’ll keep up with it, or that it will always be about weight loss (I have MANY opinions). For today though, this is what I want to write about.

Since this introduction has grown quite lengthy, I’ll end with this. In addition to helping myself sort through the psychological minefield that is losing the equivalent of a small adult, I hope that in sharing my thoughts and experiences I can influence how people (the two that read this) respond to someone who is overweight or dieting in their lives. You can do so much good and so much damage.

P.S. I’ll probably write about politics too (sorry not sorry).